Gary Potter
by Lizzie D
Summary: Harry Potter and his friends are all old now. Like not in their 70s, but in their mid-20s. This fic is only for fun, if you don't think it's funny, then too bad for you. ;-)


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Gary Potter

A Fan Fiction by Lizzie D

If you are a Harry Potter fan who won't laugh at a funny joke, I don't know if you would like this, but I think it's hysterical. That's just me though haha. It's funny, a little disturbing at parts, but just pretend to like it...

INFO:

Harry is still not married to Ginny but is in love with her. Ron is engaged to Hermione. 'People change', just remember that...

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Harry Potter was very tired as he stumbled out of bed that morning. Today wasn't just any day. Harry was going to propose to Ginny this morning. _I hope she says 'yes!'_, he thought as he fumbled for the ring.

Harry wanted to talk to someone who was very wise before he popped the question.

"Ron!!!" Harry banged on the door. There was no answer, so Harry just barged in. "Am I interrupting something?" Harry was uncomfortable to see Ron in his boxers kissing Hermione who was in her lingerie.

"You should have knocked!" Ron concluded, but let Harry in.

"I did," Harry sighed, "Anyway, I have an announcement to make!"

"You're getting liposuction!?!?" Hermione slurred the sarcastic joke due to the fact that she was drunk.

"Why would I need it?!" Harry was exasperated. He did need it though. He wasn't exactly in good shape. Six feet tall, 500 pounds isn't that fit.

"Well, you've put on some weight, lately... Are you depressed?" Ron asked. Ron, on the other hand, was fit as a fiddle, which is fit.

"No, I'm not depressed, I came to tell you that I'm proposing to Ginny this morning!" Harry exclaimed as his pants randomly fell down.

"Hey tiger, that's more of you than I wanted to see!" Hermione laughed; still slurring her words.

"Whatever, but I have to look good," Harry said.

"Well, pulling your pants up would be a start!" Ron chuckled.

"Yeah, Gary! I don't like seeing you in your 'Spongebob' boxers!" Hermione giggled, still drunk.

"I'm Harry Potter, not Gary Potter!" Harry sighed and then pulled up his pants.

"You're all set, go!" Ron ordered.

"I am?!" Harry was surprised.

"Yeah, you look great, buddy! Go propose!" Ron obviously didn't want to be bothered by Harry's company when he basically could make Hermione do anything for him. She was still drunk.

"Away with me!" A fat Harry exclaimed and he ran into the hall and bumped into Ginny.

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Ew, she thought_. He's so gross! Ick! He could have worn a shirt!_

"Oh, Hi Harry," Ginny attempted to get away from him.

"Hey Ginny!" Harry called and she reluctantly turned around.

"Yes, Harry?" she replied.

Harry went on a mushy-wushy rant and lecture; he proposed to Ginny.

__

Hell no! she thought, _I have to let him down easy though_.

"Uhh... no... Harry, can't we be just friends?" Ginny asked.

"Shit..." Harry sighed.

"I'm sorry. I don't like you like you. I just like you!" Ginny explained.

"I understand," Harry cried as he ran away. 

Harry ran away from Ginny and down the stairs towards their 'Potion Laboratory'. _Let's see... rabbit spells, rabbit spells..._ Harry finally found the ingredients and he formulated a potion that would turn whomever drinks it, into a white, cotton-tail, rabbit.

Harry took out a pen and paper and wrote this letter:

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Dear Ron, Ginny, and Hermione,

I'm going to leave you now and I won't be coming back. I've turned myself into a rabbit. Just so you won't kill me, I will be a white, cottontail rabbit in the backyard. Don't kill me, and if you do, PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! That'd be sick. Anyway, have nice lives.

Love, Harry

"Here goes," he said aloud and he drank the potion. He wasn't surprised that he turned into a rabbit. Harry hopped into the backyard and began feeding on grass.

Ginny walked into Ron's room.

"It isn't exactly flattering for a girl to see her brother making out with her best friend!" Ginny yelled.

"It isn't flattering to see Harry with his pants down!" Hermione garbled.

"Uhh... yeah..." Ginny thought Hermione was an idiot. Ginny has also changed. She was very different from Hermione. As opposed to being a drunken slut, Ginny was a quiet hunter/lumberjack. She went fishing, duck hunting, and rabbit hunting.

"Well, what are we having for dinner tonight?" Ginny inquired.

"I don't know, leave us alone. We're busy!" Ron slurred as he was kissing Hermione.

"Just go kill something..." Hermione added drunkenly.

"Fine..." Ginny left the room and grabbed her rifle and her coat. She decided to go rabbit hunting.

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I don't want to go too far just to kill a damn rabbit, she thought as she looked out the kitchen window. Ginny spotted a white, cotton-tail rabbit in the back yard. _It's my lucky day_, she smiled as she walked outside and killed it.

***

Harry was just eating grass when he saw Ginny walk outside with a rifle. _She probably doesn't know I'm Harry!?!?! Ahh!_ Harry died.

***

"Come and get it!" Ginny rang the dinner bell. Ron and Hermione walked down the stairs; still in their pajamas. _Ew_, Ginny thought. Hermione seemed a bit more clear-headed. _She's probably sober now_, Ginny thought as she placed the cooked rabbit on the table. Little did they know what they were doing.

They all ate rabbit that night. Much to Hermione's disliking. She thought it tasted funny. Ron walked into the potion room because he had left his jacket there the day before...

"OH MY GOD!" Ron hollered as everyone ran in the room. He read the note aloud and everyone threw up their dinner that night. 

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MORAL: _Never say things that you may regret later, or poor decisions will be made._

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THE END

I know that everyone out there hated this so-called story. But, it wasn't a story, so don't get that idea. It was a simple take-off and hilarious prospect of the future lives of our favorite characters from Harry Potter.

No flames please. You don't have to tell me it sucks haha. Because I know it does. It was a crazy idea that me and my friends came up with during a sleepover of too much Coca Cola and Sprite haha.


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